Theassumptionof heterosexuality is twofold when you're a feminine lesbian: it comes from both the straight and the gay communities. And you know what they say when you assume: you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me." Gay men often proclaim, "But you're too pretty to be gay!" Lesbians look at you like you do not belong. Straight men try their very best to convince you that if you sleep with them, they'll open your eyes to what you've been missing. And straight women aren't sure whether they should behave the same way with you as they do with their other friends. They assume you're the same as them, so they talk about their boyfriends, husbands, and which Hollywood men they fancy. Informing them that despite your love for heels, makeup, and fashion, you actually fancy the main actress instead of the actor can create a divide. And if, like me, you are a femme who likes femmes, the assumption of heterosexuality can also affect your love life. If you cannot tell whether a girl you like is gay, what's to say she can tell that you are also a lady lover? You are forever stuck in a dilemma
&#;I would never say that the world is harder on me than it is on you. I would never say that. Sometimes, you are invisible. I have no idea what this must feel like, to verb right by your people and not be recognized, to not be seen.&#; Ivan Coyote – To All the Beautiful, Kickass, Beautiful and Full-Bodied Femmes Out There
If you are wondering who femmes are in this context, they are feminine looking lesbian women. More simply &#;femme&#; is a descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner. The term ‘femme’ is used as opposite to ‘butch’. Butch in the lesbian subculture means someone who looks ‘masculine’ or dresses up or acts in a more masculine manner.
It is popularly assumed lesbians look a certain way – short, coloured hair, leather clothes, masculine attire. However, there are lesbian women who do not look masculine or behave in a masculine manner. Within this assumed garb of masculinity, feminine lesbian women are pushed into invisibility. This invisibility is not only outside the queer circles but within. This article will foc
Last updated on July 22nd, at pm
There are as many ways to construct and live a femme identity as there are femmes. Some femmes wear extended hair, others shave their heads, and still others do both. Some wear heels every occasion they leave the house and others wear sneakers. Some are CEOs and some are welders and some work in pink-collar fields. Some are &#;girly&#; and many are not. Some associate their femme-ness with their appearance, while others associate it with spirituality or energy or passion or politics or care or strength.
Femme isn&#;t any one presentation or behavior or way of moving through the world, and it&#;s definitely not simply &#;being feminine.&#; It&#;s an intentional, self-aware, and queer twist on feminine energy and presentation that transcends the sum of its parts. Or as Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha writes in &#;FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO!, &#;WE’RE YOUR BEST GIRLFRIEND AND YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.&#;
If you are femme, date femmes, both, or neither, here&#;s a swift primer on the myths and truths around being femme.
There are many ways to be a femme, so it&#;s best not to confine oneself to a specific definitionbut below is an abstarct of how it was defined in the literature I read. Femme is a term used in LGBT culture to describe someone who expresses themselves in a typically feminine way. With that said, femme differs from feminine, and the differences are key in understanding why the terminology femme is necessary. The ordinary threads amongst all femmes are their expression of femininity and their place on the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Many individuals use it to embrace and redefine the stereotypes and expectations that are often placed on women.
Femme & Femininity
Many people outside the queer community may not fully understand what femme means and how it differs from feminine, but the differences are why the terminology femme is necessary.
Femme describes a queer person who presents and behaves in a traditionally feminine way with the inclusion of cisgender individuals who enjoy a more passive role in intimate relationships, asexual transgender women, or n