Older younger gay stories

Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Gay Relationships

Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to gay men younger than themselves. If you are happy dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It&#;s like asking &#;Why do I prefer blondes over brunettes?&#; My advice is to let yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as long as they are over the age of 18).

Age gap relationships are more common than you may realize. In western countries:

  • 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
  • that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
  • and 15% of female/female relationships

That same study indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more committed to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some verb that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can find more details on these stats on this episode of the pod

On the verge of my 37th birthday I celebrate a minute over a year of partnership with a man 26 years my senior.

This is not a new phenomenon for me—coupling with older men. It is a preference that kept me in the closet until I felt I was safe enough to express it at I had never been with another male sexually before then. In noun, I had only ever been with women my age. That’s what was expected of me, if not the celibate single or religious life, in the conservative, working-class Catholic household in which I was raised.

It was in this environment that I was taught to hold the body in suspicion and to avoid sex. Masturbation, I was told, is a mortal sin. “Impure thoughts” were grounds for confession. By fifteen, in the throes of pubescent sexual urgency, I broke down and dedicated the ultimate transgression for a Catholic boy that age: Not only did I masturbate for the first time, I did so to a picture of another man. I was terrified. My sexual fantasies were all about pro-wrestlers and movie stars with chiseled jaws and hirsute bodies. I went to confession sometimes multi

Daddies of a Different Thoughtful

Offers the most in-depth analysis of same-gender romantic partnerships, sexual friendships, and sexual relationships between men of different ages. Countering stereotypes of ‘sugar daddies,’ Tony Silva finds a variety of reasons both younger and older men sought and sustained these relationships. Silva illustrates a new way of thinking about flexibility in gay and bisexual men’s sexualities over the course of their lives and adds new work to our growing understanding of caring masculinities.’ A fascinating study. ~Tristan Bridges, co-author of Exploring Masculinities: Identity, Inequality, Continuity, and Change
Daddies of a Different Kind illustrates how the knowledge and frameworks that emerge from queer communities teach us so much about social relationships, inequality, and our society at large. This manual also reveals the intellectual and methodological advances that can arise when LGBTQ perspectives are centered. ~Anthony Christian Ocampo, author of Brown and Gay in LA: The Lives of Immigrant Sons
Silva focuses on an understudied

Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay man whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.

Gass lost his first partner, 28 years his senior, through the slowly deteriorating effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he set up love again with a bloke 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively young man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older man again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had lost older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of being attracted to older men.”

I began to study same-sex relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay