The gay guys
An Introduction
My client sat in the chair looking down at the floor, glancing up briefly to make eye contact, then darting his eyes back to the carpet. He spoke quietly, as if almost afraid to be heard. He clutched his hands throughout the session, displaying all the markers of an anxious man in the throes of shame. He was a unused client to my practice: a married, middle-aged, suburban dad with a high-powered career. A colleague had given him my number months before. It took him a long time to muster the courage to call and make an appointment. Towards the end of our first session he looked up at me and said, “I think I’m in love…with another man. I’m scared and I don’t comprehend what to do.”
I have worked with hundreds of gay men in heterosexual marriages struggling with being in the closet or wanting to emerge from it. There is so much about these men that is misunderstood and very few studies or little literature to provide insight. I decided to share my thoughts and research about these men and their struggles at a conference a few years ago. That presentation led to other oppor
10 Things Gay Men Should Discuss
Top 10 Things Gay Men Should Discuss with Their Healthcare Provider
Following are the health issues GLMA&#x;s healthcare providers have identified as most commonly of concern for gay men. While not all of these items apply to everyone, it&#x;s wise to be aware of these issues.
1. Approach Out to Your Primary Healthcare Provider
In order to provide you with the best care achievable, your primary care provider should know you are gay. Knowing your sexual orientation and sexual behaviors will help your healthcare provider offer the correct preventative screenings, and order the appropriate tests. If your provider does not seem comfortable with you as a gay man, discover another provider. You can consult the LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory for assist finding a provider.
2. Reducing the Risk of Getting or Transmitting HIV
Many men who have sex with men are at an increased risk of getting HIV, but the ability to block the acquisition and transmission of HIV has improved drastically in recent years. If you are living with HIV, anti-HIV medications can help
Many gay men grew up feeling ashamed of not conforming to cultural expectations about “real boys” or “real men.” Especially during middle and high school, they may have been bullied or publicly humiliated because of their difference—made to feel like outsiders and not “one of the boys.” They may have start it easier relating to women than men, though they didn’t fully belong to the noun group, either.
Every gay man I’ve seen in my practice over the years has had a conflicted, troubled relationship with his own masculinity, often shaping his behavior in destructive ways. Writing for Vice, Jeff Leavell captures the dynamic nicely: “Queer people, especially gay men, are known for dealing with a slew of self-doubts and anxieties in noxious ways. Gay men are liable to feel incredibly insecure over their masculinity, a nice of internalized homophobia that leads them to idolize 'masc 4 masc', 'gaybros' and [to] shame and oppress femme men.”
Here we see one of the most common defenses against shame: getting rid of it by offloading or projecting it onto somebody else; in this case, one
Adult LGBT Population in the United States
This report provides estimates of the number and percent of the U.S. adult population that identifies as LGBT, overall, as well as by age. Estimates of LGBT adults at the national, state, and regional levels are included. We rely on BRFSS data for these estimates. Pooling multiple years of data provides more stable estimates—particularly at the state level.
Combining BRFSS data, we estimate that % of U.S. adults identify as LGBT. Further, we estimate that there are almost million (13,,) LGBT adults in the U.S.
Regions and States
LGBT people reside in all regions of the U.S. (Table 2 and Figure 2). Consistent with the overall population in the United States,more LGBT adults live in the South than in any other region. More than half (%) of LGBT people in the U.S. verb in the Midwest (%) and South (%), including million in the Midwest and million in the South. About one-quarter (%) of LGBT adults reside in the West, approximately million people. Less than one in five (%) LGBT adults live in the Northeast ( million).
The perce